New era

K and E have done something new this week: they have gone to the pool by themselves for the first time. It doesn't sound like anything earth-shattering but for us, it's a BIG deal. Yet, on the other hand, it feels very natural.

The idea just popped into my head the other day when I was stressing about how much work I have to do and the kids wanted to go to the pool. I thought, how nice it would be if they could go and I could stay here....then, I thought "well, they're 8 now, that seems like it should be old enough".

So I asked them if they would feel safe and they said yes. Off we went.

Today is the third time they've gone without me and I have such mixed emotions about it. I miss them and worry that I am not available enough to them...that I"m letting them "go" too soon....that they'll be forever damaged because I'm not there playing with them in the pool (just kidding!). I know they won't be damaged but I do worry that we will lose our close connection too soon and that's very hard for me.

But I"m proud of them too. They're growing up so fast. And I've got so much on my mind and so much to do that I treasure the time alone.

Today it was extra hard to drop them off because Evan got in trouble before I took them there. I had given him a bowl of soup that was very, very hot. I had to use pot-holders to hold the bowl because it was so hot. I set it down in front of him, warning him that it was too hot to touch. Katerina put her finger on the bowl (of course!) and Evan grabbed her wrist and held it there, keeping her finger on the hot bowl.

Now, I can keep my cool about most things but when it comes to physically hurting someone else, I get angry. I didn't yell or scream but very firmly (and angrily) told him that he did a very mean thing, that he hurt his sister, and that I was very disappointed in him. I said "how would you feel if I held your finger on this hot bowl right now?" and he said, very solemnly "sad". I was REALLY angry.

So, at first I told him to go to his room. Then I realized that that wouldn't punish him because all of his toys are in his room. So I said that he would have to make it up to her by vaccuuming her room (in addition to his). I thought that was pretty fair. But he got very upset and cried loudly. I still felt ok with this idea but he was very solemn (aka, pouty) for a long time after that.

I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do or not but I don't think it was too bad. Oh well...at least I have some time now to write and reflect on it....the joys of raising children!